Weekly Insight no.1
This one might be a tad long due to it's inaugural nature. I might even trip over a few rocks as the process unfolds or at least until the creative groove unveils itself to me. I truly believe that new endeavors have designs of their own and as such we must remain open as facilitators. Since this is the first Weekly Insight Series I'm sure the rambling will span several weeks of sing song adventure so hunker down. Now, perhaps you came to this particular writing by way of my recent food story post Smooth Protein Shake with Alkalizing Greens or by way of the Exploration Series Solar Eclipse, Magic Kingdom and New Adventures briefing my families recent visual Disney/Universal journey but truly if this is your first stop, WELCOME!!!!! Please though, by all means, check out the other stories as all three tie together.
Where to begin. Well, I guess a quick introduction would be in order. This will be home to my new ongoing series discussing perceptions and insights that took place the week prior. Being a highly sensitive individual I naturally process a ton of energy, the result of which churns out a ton of writing. I've been writing for years but simply need a more direct and external outlet for sharing what's going on inside. This process has helped me tremendously to connect patterns and become more efficient in understanding my sensitive inquisitive nature. I have found tools built from this core connection are lasting and unequivocally indispensable so with this series the processing journey continues.
Starting anything new is exciting but to just let the energy of the topic guide you requires complete acceptance. We often either try to control too many variables or steam roll ahead without a goal or why. Both are creative inhibitors but there really is something to be said about pure acceptance, where control of the outcome is gently laid to the side and you trust the ride. At Disney/Universal last week, I noted how people didn't think twice about engaging with the daring roller coasters, they just aligned with the energy of the moment and trusted that the outcome would provide an experience. It's so freeing to let go of expectations and just flow with life. It's not always easy but if controlling creates restriction, then we'd all be wise to become grateful students proficient in the language of release.
About a week ago or so my Mom, Sister and Myself went on vacation together, something we haven't managed to pull off in over 30 years. The reason covers many timelines but the most recent has to do with my Dad. He passed away in February 2017 from years of health related issues. We were so grateful to have the extended time with him. Due to his condition it became hard to travel for more than a few days, so our adventures were limited to snatches of moments spread out across time. We cherished these moments but after his passing Mom was adamant about us coming together for a family vacation. Now, everyone can attest to the narrative of loving family time but can also acknowledge the difficulties that arise when spending too many days together, especially when you're used to only a few. This vacation was a reintroduction to each other. A new foundation for communicating and interacting going forward. Our schedule was ambitious and afterward we all agreed was a bit much. I don't think I've ever walked that much in a short period in my life but we did lay out some fabulous exploring. All the photos are over at Solar Eclipse, Magic Kingdom and New Adventures with Family Exploration post, so check it out. It was a tough, exciting, fun filled emotional roller coaster that at times bred frustration but overall yielded to a rewarding heart passage.
The theme over the past several weeks has definitely been one of renewal, revising, refocus. I started feeling it well before our trip. The pull inward was so fierce that even my creative persona was put on hold. I didn't feel like sharing anything. So within I went. And here I stayed till whatever needed my attention was satisfied it had it. In a world that thrives on go go go always externally projecting this space can feel daunting. There's always present right at the edge that you're being left behind even though you're actually going forward. A paradox, of sorts, which mind you is one of my favorite words. I'm just now finally picking up the renewed ball of energy and allowing it's growth to lead.
The day we returned though was tough in many ways. The most pressing was the unfolding devastation happening in Texas. Hurricane Harvey swept in and brought back a visual reminder of my own experience from Nashville's 2010 flood. I think for a day or so I tried to deny it was going to be bad because I knew all too well that emotional space and wouldn't wish that kind of experience on anyone. But there it was happening. I felt myself withdrawaling again as feelings and memories came pouring in reminding me of all that was lost(as well as all that was gained). It was a lot to process. Some of you know because you were entirely integral in my rebuild process but most reading this do not. I can tell you, the memory of climbing out of an upstairs bedroom window into a rescue boat with 2 cats in a large duffle bag brings tears to eyes every time. It's not something I care to repeat. The area in which I live was considered ground zero in terms of most heavily impacted, so you see, I have a unique heart space for those affected. Please continue to send help wherever you can, I received so many anonymous donations as well as help from family and friends that without would have made my rebuild much more difficult since my home was deemed by Fema outside of the flood zone prior to its purchase. So there was no insurance. Everything Helps. Even you're continued prayers because even though the rebuilding process will undoubtedly start in the next few weeks and those unaffected carry on with their lives THIS emotional narrative will continue for weeks, months, maybe even years for all the others who ARE affected. So keep praying, keep helping, keep sending your love, money contributions, cloths whatever you can. If you're there volunteering, High Five. I remember so many lovely souls coming by my house during the demolition and providing food and water. Help keep this spirit alive. And if your reading this years after this post please use the same message to apply anywhere there is need. I really had to sit with the emotional energy all week and center myself around feelings and memories. Last night the remnants of Hurricane Harvey came through Nashville so we all got an audible reminder.
To be present in the destruction of the old as it gives way to the new is such a gift. Tough but a gift. It seems that is the pressing message as we keep navigating the days ahead. If you've ever seen the movie The Core then you'll understand the intricate nature of moving from one layer of existing to the next. Before you finally cross over there's this mix of elements as these actors had traveling to the core of the Earth. At each layer transition point, part of the mix carried material from the space they were just in as well as the space they were currently moving towards. You're already feeling the pull from the new material because it's thinner and more fluid but still navigating the denser parts of where you just came. A combination of team work and trust in the skills amassed are all key components to making to it the other side. It's tough, exciting and filled with anxiety. Align and Release to the moment. Enjoying the ride I think is what the Universe has in mind:)